I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around now and I, along with the rest of America, go, “Christ, this again?” This is because I’m older and I’m jaded enough to know that the Oscars are garbage. They are the film equivalent of your boss giving you a new title instead of a raise. And, at age 42, I no longer need my favorite movies validated by a tacky statue voted on by a bunch of senile retirees. I can wait until the cusp of spring for this show. I can wait forever. What’s more, the Oscars have been victimized (loosest use…