So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?" Well, it turns out, there is video of this spectacle, and it's embedded above. That is to say, there's video of the race, not of the guy breaking all the rules. We can't imagine, watching this video, how he could have possible been confused about the regulations. He spoiled a perfectly normal and typical water race, after all. Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You [Deadspin]
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The Ballon d Or will be handed out on Thursday and, as has become tradition, the football world waits with bated breath to see which of Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo will win it.
The Barcelona and Real Madrid stars have won every edition of the prize since 2008, both as France Football s standalone award and during its merger with FIFA s prize, and it seems inconceivable that the duopoly will not continue in 2017.
Plenty of debate has raged over which of them has deserved to get their hands on the glittering gold sphere every year, but not quite so much air time has been given to assessing those who deserved it just as much – perhaps even more so.
Well, in the spirit of Ballon d Or decency, we re going to do just that. Here are the players we think fully de…
Allow me to quote former Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand straight from the off here but Juventus surely need to file an appeal over Cristiano Ronaldo’s red card against Valencia.
Bianconeri superstar striker ended up having a torrid night in his favourite competition as he got sent off just before the half hour-mark after what appeared as if he slightly pulled Valencia centre-back Jeison Murillo’s hair.
after being shown the red card and I’m on the bandwagon with Rio Ferdinand, believing that decision to send him off was a harsh one.
Surely got to appeal this ??
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5)
Never before the Wednesday night’s clash against Valencia has Cristiano Ronaldo been shown a red card in the Champions League…
Market: Both teams to score
Odds: 8/11 @
Meeting for the second time in the space of just a few days, Luton will welcome QPR to Kenilworth Road on Friday night.
Starting with the hosts, while Luton might have gained plenty of plaudits following their famous Premier League return last season, the Hatters are in the midst of a public struggle. Losing their top-flight status prior to the summer break, Rob Edwards’ side have come under some mounting scrutiny. Crashing out of the EFL Cup earlier in the week as they suffered penalties heartbreak at the hands of Friday’s opponents, the former Watford boss is desperately seeking some kind of boost. Signing off their summer preparations with a 3-1 loss at the hands of Spanish outfit Celta Vigo, Luton have failed to f…
Jurgen Klopp is not surprised at all by Ilkay Gundogan s outstanding form for Manchester City, describing the midfielder as one of the best players I ever coached .
Gundogan is enjoying the best scoring season of his league career, netting seven times to help City climb to the top of the Premier League.
Robbed of Sergio Aguero for an extended period and now also without Kevin De Bruyne, Pep Guardiola has handed additional attacking responsibilities to the Germany international, who is thriving.
Gundogan, a 2016 signing from Borussia Dortmund, has nine goals in all competitions this term at a rate of 0.5 per 90 minutes, his best performance in a City shirt.
Yet Gundogan continues to create for his team-mates, too, supplying a pair of assists and creating 1…
Atletico Madrid striker Alvaro Morata is set to miss Saturday s derby with his former club Real Madrid after an appeal against a suspension was unsuccessful.
Morata was sent off in Atletico s LaLiga clash with Real Mallorca on Wednesday after being shown two yellow cards in quick succession following an appearance as a substitute.
The Spain international had come off the bench in the 69th minute, and he collected a booking just eight minutes later after a row with referee Alejandro Hernandez.
He was then swiftly involved in a flashpoint with Mallorca s Salva Sevilla which saw the pair square up to each other and exchange angry words before Morata, 26, received a second booking.
Atletico had written to the Spanish FA asking for clemency on Morata s suspe…
Cristiano Ronaldo has signed a four-year contract with Juventus after the Serie A champions confirmed the Portugal superstar s €100million move from Real Madrid.
The end of Ronaldo s nine-year stay at Madrid was announced on Tuesday by Madrid, with the 33-year-old explaining in an open letter he wants to start a new cycle in his career.
Juventus have now confirmed details of the deal, with Madrid to receive €100m for the record goalscorer in the club s history.
Ronaldo hit 450 goals for Madrid, helping the club to win four Champions League titles in the last five seasons.
In addition to the €100m fee, which will be paid over the next two years, Juventus said in a statement that a further €12m will be paid in additional costs
Madrid, w…
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admitted he is worried by Manchester United s goal drought following their 0-0 Premier League draw away to Crystal Palace.
United were held to their third successive scoreless draw across all competitions after firing another blank against Palace on Wednesday.
Solskjaer s faltering United produced another toothless display at Selhurst Park, where the Red Devils slipped 14 points adrift of runaway leaders Manchester City ahead of Sunday s derby.
United registered their sixth goalless Premier League draw of the season – the club s joint-most ever in a campaign, along with 2004-05 and 2016-17.
The Premier League giants have also drawn three consecutive matches 0-0 in all competitions for the first time since October 2015 under Louis va…
Spain head coach Luis Enrique cast his vote in the Barcelona presidential election on Sunday and kept his fingers crossed for a positive outcome.
The former Barcelona player, who coached the team to treble glory in the 2014-15 season, was one of thousands who turned out to Camp Nou to vote in person.
Barcelona said 20,663 club members had already voted by post for their choice of the president to lead the club forward.
Luis Enrique was among a host of big names who arrived at the club s stadium to have their say in the election, with current players including Lionel Messi also exercising their right.
It is an opportunity to choose the president of Barca and with joy. I hope that the one who comes out on top, the one picked by all the members, will be the…
Outgoing captain Vincent Kompany is the DNA of Manchester City, according to club hero Shaun Goater.
City confirmed on Sunday that Kompany s 11-year stay at the club is coming to an end, with the defender s appearance in Saturday s thumping FA Cup final win over Watford his last for the Premier League champions.
In all, Kompany has made 360 appearances for City since joining the club in August 2008, playing a crucial role in four successful Premier League title tilts, two FA Cup victories and four League Cup triumphs.
And Goater, himself a cult figure with City fans, believes that Kompany represents the essence of what the club stands for.
What a way to bow out, what he s done for the club, the former Bermuda striker told Sky Sports.
He is the D…
Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting and Joshua Kimmich gave Bayern Munich a 2-0 win over Bayer Leverkusen and put them on the brink of a ninth consecutive Bundesliga title.
RB Leipzig s shock 2-1 defeat at relegation-threatened Cologne earlier on Tuesday gave Hansi Flick s side the opportunity to go 10 points clear with four matches remaining.
They did so with the minimum of fuss after Choupo-Moting – again deputising for the injury Robert Lewandowski – opened the scoring in the seventh minute.
A superb second from Kimmich made a response from Leverkusen deeply unlikely, as their struggles during the second half of this season were again laid bare at the Allianz Arena. Hannes Wolf s side are seven points behind four-placed Wolfsburg having played a game more.
Fo…